Trout
by metelhede33
Summary: Welcome to the space adventure of trout and Arach
1. The Goo-en-ing

"Wowie!" Trout yelled.

He was reading an ad in the local newspaper about a bounty for Captain Lubs Tubs' toy chest. Captain Lubs Tubs was a rival of Trout, spanning back to when Captain Lubs Tubs pushed his twin brother over in the sandbox years ago. Trout kept reading, and realized that the bounty was worth over 68 trillion double dollars ($$68,000,000,000.00)!

"Now's my time to get revenge, you enemy!" Trout screamed at the newspaper.

Trout grabbed his space-phone and hastily called up his friend, Goo. The phone rang for a few seconds, until Goo picked up.

"Wowsers, Trout… It's currently 3 am." Goo murmured.

"DUDE-THERES-AN-AD-FOR-THE-CAPTAIN-LUBS-TUBS-MORE-THAN-OVER-68-TRILLION-DOUBLE-DOLLARS!" Trout replied.

"O-BOY-REALLY? CALL-ME-BACK-LATER!"

Goo calmly placed the phone down on his nightstand and went back to bed.

"A rogue never sleeps, Mark." Trout said.

Trout hopped into his SPACE CAR and started to drive to Goo's house. Along the way, Trout stopped at a mechanic's store and bought some lock picking tools. He continued down the road to Goo's house.

He parked his car far away from Goo's house and walked the rest of the way. When he got there, he started to look into the windows. They were all locked. Trout pulled out a screwdriver and started to fiddle with the lock. He spent an hour, but he finally did it and got in.

He snuck into the kitchen, and worked his way to his friend's room. He planted his back into a wall and slid his way down the hall. He opened the door to his friend's room and saw him sleeping. He fell onto the floor and slithered to the bed.

Trout slowly moved up and up the bed, and got right next to Goo's ear.

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed.

Goo flipped out, he had pajamas on and a computer full of games on. Trout just smiled and looked at him, Goo pulled out a gift and pointed it at his nose.

"OK FRIEND WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Goo screamed.

"You gotta help me befriend Captain Lubs Tubs dude!"

Goo just looked at Trout in disappointment, his eyes still half shut from waking up.

"Ok, if I install some tech onto your space fedora will you leave me alone until tomorrow?" Goo asked.

"Yes?"

"Fine, hand it over."

Trout handed the space fedora over. Goo put it next to his computer and started to tinker about it.

Hours passed until he finished. Day broke and Goo wasn't tired anymore. He handed the space fedora back and shooed Trout off.

Trout hopped back into his car and started to drive, thinking about ways to break into the space ship. He finally came up with the idea of stealing a COOL SPACE PLANE.

Suddenly, Trout heard something from his space fedora; it sounded like video games.

"Who-"

"OH MAN SORRY TROUT." Goo replied.

"Uh... while you're stopped doing whatever... where could I get a RADICAL SPACE PLANE?"

"Sneak into the SPACE AIRPORT and steal a C-68 Plane, that one is never guarded and has equipment inside incase you make and error on your space journey."

"Alright." Trout said, driving a little faster.

He arrived at the space airport. It was a few blocks down from Goo's house. The airport was barely guarded, all Trout had to do was hop a fence and he was in.  
"Be careful Trout, the place may seem unguarded, but there are cameras and guards hiding in dark corners waiting for people like you to take the bait." Goo said.

Trout nodded, and crawled to the side of the airport, with the C-68 waiting in the bay

"If this place is a bandit trap like me, wouldn't the C-68 be like-uh, uh, a space trap?" Trout whispered to his space fedora.

"No, they want people to steal that not-very-good plane. You could even probably just ask to have it and they would give it to you."

Trout looked confused, but still nodded.

"This may be a sloppy break-in, but I'll at least escape in a sweet SPACE PLANE."

Trout hopped the fence and bolted for the plane. Since he was a Trout, he was extra-slippery and could run incredibly fast. Trout was so fast, in fact, that he ran past multiple security cameras and guards without them noticing.

He hopped into the plane and flew off, the space-reverse-anti-aircraft not even shooting at him.

"Nice work, Trout!" Goo squizzed in joy.

Trout had a rad nasty extremely cool grin, excitement showing in his face forcome.

"What are the coordinates to the ship again Goo?" Trout asked.

"I already programmed them onto your ship, you should be there in a few space minutes."

The ship turned on its SuperFluid HyperLight Iterated Quantum TAS *Space* Engine (SHLIQTSE) and warped through space. Darkness became gray as space light warped behind him and he could see behind him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Trout screamed

The ship crashed into the side of the space pirate space ship. Its space energy field blocked the impact and captured Trout in its aura. Thousands of "plasma rifles" extended, preparing to rupture trout's soft flesh, bursting with gore and leaving nothing but a bloody pile of organs and meat.

Trout tipped his space fedora, running to grab his space jetpack. The "plasma rifles" started to "shoot at the ship".

An alarm started to ring from inside the ship.

"WARNING - 68% FIRE CAPACITY REACHED, ESCAPE OR I WILL PROBABLY EXPLODE."

Trout looked around in a panic, red lights flashed and multiple "plasma" loads started to penetrate the "ship". Trout grabbed his nonalcoholic and child friendly space drink™ for the space road and threw himself out the "ship" right before it went into oblivion.

The pirate ship decided to hold up an LED sign saying: "Have a nice day!"

Trout looked down in shame, gin and tonic in his hands. There was also something else, a dark gray glowing space ball.

"*sniff*, G-oo.. What is this?" Trout asked while holding in tears.

"Oh, those are 'Spirit Balls'! They can be used to manipulate a being's emotions. You currently have the spirit of space shame. You can shove your spirit into someone's throat to make them feel that emotion. Apparently you have so much emotion it leaked from your soul and you got extra." Goo replied.

"Oh, ok.."

Space hours floated away like Trout's dreams. Trout had to eat parts of his arm and drink all of his nonalcoholic and child friendly space drink™ to stay alive. Soon, space days became space weeks, and space weeks became space-

"O MY THERES MY HOME" Trout yelled as he crashed into his planet's atmosphere.

He crashed into his house so hard he broke the roof and created an explosion spanning a square mile, killing 68% of his town's population.

"THAT TOTALLY DUSTED THE SHELVES EVEN WHERE I'M SITTING!" Screamed Goo.

Trout slowly stood up, and looked around,debris everywhere.

"So much for a welcoming party." Goo said.

…

Trout opened the door to Goo's house and sat down on the couch with Goo next to him.

"Ok Trout, tell me what defenses they have." Goo said

"Well, they have an aura of some sorts that capture any "ship" coming and, like, penetrates it with things that look like dangerous weapons." Trout said

"Well that's not very good."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. If I can't get a ship close enough, how in the world am I supposed to get in?"

"Well, there always is SPACE teleporting. You can always find a person in the ship willing to let you in."

"I guess I'll try to contact someone on it."

So Trout hopped onto Goo's program-filled computer and started searching for the pirate ship. He ended up on a website called 'The Pirate Bay' and checked the 'Staff' page. For some odd reason it listed all their orientations. Trout picked the only friendly guy and texted him.

"Hey man u open for da chats hit me up in those dm's if u know what im sayin dude btw im a cool dude i swear i will party only if you respond please respond i would like to party with you in the ship just text back, also the only reason my name is mark is because my parents died"

A few hours later the man responded

"Oh hai mark i was interested in party can u send it yo, my name is lisa because there was like a girl and i traded names ha ha party please"

Trout put on makeup, a cool party outfit, and generally looked like a party trap. Trout sent party preparation and the man responded.

"Oh dude i mean bro you are SO radical can u please teleport to me my location is M-770.5963654 T-I.58INSO485 G-TA-97-OT" Lisa responded.

Goo started laughing, "You actually got a guard to give you coords? What an absolutely intelligent individual, let me run it through to make sure it's not a trap."

"But I'm a tra-" Trout sai-

"NO NOT THAT KIND OF TRAP YOU FUNNY MAN."

"YOU HAVE FUN GAMES ALL ON YOUR COMPUTER DUDE."

"PLEASE BE QUIET."

"I WON'T BE QUIET UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE A GAMER."

"NO I WON'T"

"THEN WHY IS THERE A FOLDER CALLED PUZZLES"

"MY FRIEND WANTED SOME OK, ALSO THERE'S NO PUZZLES IN IT IT'S JUST REGULAR FUN VIDEO GAMES"

"NO IT CERTAINLY ISN'T"

Hours upon hours of bickering and yelling about video games echoed the destroyed streets of the town until they finally consumed a nonalcoholic and child friendly space drink™ and cooled down.

"Hey man, I'm sorry about saying you're a gamer."Trout said

"And I'm sorry for going nuclear about video games." Goo said

"Now let's make up by making dinner for each other!"

"Nope!" Goo hit switch to the teleport and teleported him to the ship, wearing a cool party hat, with Lisa staring at him.

Lisa gasped in horror, the guy he wanted to party with was actually a not very cool person.

"NO LISA THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE" Trout tried to make up.

"Oh…" Lisa looked down at his gun, grabbed it and disposed of it responsibly. "I mean, you were the only thing I strived to impress Mark"

"Actually my name is Trou-"

He started to cry, and lie on the floor in a ball.

"I still won't betray you Mark... Never…" Lisa said

"Hey can we still party?" Trout asked

"No, go on Trout, my party heart is broken into a thousand pieces, and the only way to heal it is by letting the truth soak in."

"Ok, then. I'll just- be uh, going."

Trout ran out the door and saw the space cafeteria.


	2. Space Adoption Center

Trout looked around before heading out to the cafeteria, and noticed a guard was turning the corner. He ducked back into the room with Lisa.

"DUDE, I TOTALLY NEED TO BORROW A PAIR OF CLOTHES NOW." Trout whispered-yelled.

"Hear my soul speak, It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. The course of true love never did run smooth." Lisa said.

"GOLLY BOB HOWDY, HE'S COMING INTO THE ROOM, HIDE IN THE CLOSET."

Lisa wept while Trout dragged him into the closet to hide from the guard. Trout covered his mouth so the guard couldn't hear him.

The guard walked into the room and looked around. He started to talk.

"H-hey… Lisa? Y-y-you in here?" The guard said, he sounded like he was trying to hold in tears.

Trout looked down at Lisa in a confrontation.

"You party cheated on me?" Trout whispered angrily.

Lisa looked nervous and started to sweat.

"No-no-no! He's going through a rough patch, just let me out and I'll talk to him."

"Fine, I'm watching you."

The closet door slowly opened and Lisa plopped onto the floor.

"Ha ha! Hi Pagopa! H-how are you?" Lisa asked

"Oh, why were you in the closet?" Pagopa asked

Lisa got close and whispered, "There's someone in there holding me party-hostage."

Trout looked through the closet door, he could barely make out what they were saying or even where they were in the room.

"Oh, haha! That's funny!" Pagopa said, eyeing the closet door while reaching for his space gun.

Lisa turned around with an evil glare at the closet door, "Loser."

Pagopa pulled out the vacuum and started to clean through the door. Trout slammed his body against the wall as lasers pierced the door.

Trout tried to reach for his gift, but it was missing. He looked out the door and noticed that Lisa was holding his gift.

"You loser, you're in for it now." Trout whispered.

Pagopa started to slowly walk to the door with his gun drawn. Trout panicked in the closet, searching for something to fight back with.

"GOO PLEASE HELP ME!" Trout whispered

"Uh, ok, I think I can help you here. Let me say this first, I'm not a comedian, but whip your microphone out." Goo said

"Oh, ok?"

"Yes, and when Pagopa or whatever that thing is opens the door, throw your Ball of Shame at him. He should look at your joke and feel shame. Doesn't really matter, because your humor is really small in the first pl-"

"PLEASE BE QUIET YOU WONDERFUL PHILOSOPHER."

The door smashed open and Pagopa looked at the funny Trout. Trout quickly pulled out his Shame Ball and threw it at Pagopa.

The ball absorbed into Pagopa, and his face turned from an evil grin to an almost depressed look. He would look at Trout's comedy routine and then look at his own, and realize how Trout's was better. He ran off crying.

"Ha! Take that Lisa!" Trout screamed at Lisa.

Lisa had Trout's gift drawn and started to fire at Trout. He quickly ran out of the room, dodging all the joy.

Trout hid next to the open door, pressed against the wall. Gasping for air, he looked down the hallway. People were moving in and out of rooms. Trout quickly ran into someone's room. He slammed the door and looked around.

There was that Pagopa guy, crying and being all mopey on his bed.

Trout caught his breath and turned on his headset.

"Is this guy… Ok to talk to? He seems to be that weird guard." Trout whispered to Goo.

"I don't know how long those Spirit Orb- Things, last. I guess while he's under the effects, see if you can talk to him. He's a guard of this place, if you can get his keycard you'll be able to get to the next floor of the ship." Goo responded

"Alright." Trout took a deep breath and muted his headset.

Trout plopped down on the side of the bed and looked at Pagopa.

He whimpered, much like a dog who has gone several hours without going outside and very patiently waited but now wished to go outside..

"Hey man, I was wondering if I could get your keycar- I MEAN- We should totally like, talk about things and stuff and you know." Trout said.

"My... wife went on vacation with my only adopted child…" Pagopa said.

Trout stared at the guard in shock. Trout got up and went to the bathroom. He turned on his headset and started talking to Goo.

"Did you just hear what this cool dude said to me the second I talked to him?"

"Yea, I know. Just... try and talk to him and gain his trust." Goo responded.

Trout muted his headset again and walked back to the bed, Pagopa was sitting up now. Trout came up with a master plan.

Trout put his hand on his shoulder. Pagopa looks over with sparkling eyes…

"I can be your son Pagopa." Trout said.

"...Really?" Pagopa responded.

"Yes- Father."

Pagopa's eyes sparkled with new life, and a grin never seen on his face before arose. Pagopa grabbed Trouts hand and lead him out of the room.

"Wh-where are we going?" Trout asked

"Shh…" Pagopa said.

Trout was getting frightened now. They were going to a weird part of the ship, past the cafeteria and _space museum._

They turned a corner and Trout looked up.

"Space Adoption Center"

Trout looked down the hallway, sweat was pouring down his face.

Guards. Everywhere.

Trout unmuted his mic,

"Dude, please, don't break your cover now. I think they all know about Pagopa, so don't do anything stupid." Goo said.

Trout tries and whispers angrily, "DUDE- Friend- I'm gonna bolt out of this custody pit before I get two dads."

"Who are you talking to.. Son?" Pagopa asked

"NO ONE DAD."

Trout heard Goo laughing his head off over the headset. Trout's face turned red.

They finally reached the space adoption desk. The lady at the desk looked at Trout and looked happy, the only emotion Trout didn't have at this moment.

"Hello, can I space adopt this handsome young man as my son?" Pagopa asked the nice lady.

"Gladly! Just pay $$400, and if you don't pay, you'll be killed!" The clerk said.

"Don't worry, here you go." Pagopa handed the money to the lady.

"What's your name youngling?" She asked Trout.

"Uh… It's, Trout." Trout responded nervously.

"Congratulations! Your new _space name_ is… Trout!"

She handed Trout his new ID. Trout looked confused and turned to Pagopa, he was nowhere to be seen. Trout looked down and saw the keycard on the floor.


	3. Fan and Vent Service

The elevator only allowed people to go up one floor at a time. Trout was on the 18th, and the keycard was only made to go to the 17th. They did this so people like Trout wouldn't meet the captain in the playpen as soon as they got on the ship.

 _Ding!_ The elevator arrived on the 17th floor and Trout got in, he was crammed against aliens of all sorts. _Sattmawkish, Bærnanrobota,_ and _Betelgeuse_ were all crammed in the elevator. Trout used his _Outer-Trout-Protection™_ (OTP) to squeeze between all the creatures.

A _Peireindrakōn_ yelled at Trout in an unknown language, it sounded like Latilich. Good thing Trout had his handy book, "You and Aliens," by Ronald Reagan.

Trout translated it and found out he was being called a, "Big Cool Guy."

Ok then.

"Your keycard sir?" A guard said inside the elevator.

Trout handed his keycard over and he scanned it. He nodded and handed it back to Trout.

"Alright! Everyone is set, we're going to the 17th floor! _EVERYONE GET READY TO RIDE THE SPACE SHIP ELEVATOR!"_ The guard said at normal volume.

 _Fun_ music started to play, the elevator turned into a full playpen. Trout was stuck in the middle.

The elevator lights dimmed in the nap corner.

Creatures of all sorts played, Trout slid around inside, dodging all the fun.

Screams rang out as finger paint splattered on the walls.

 _Ding!_

The lights turned back on and the elevator reached the 17th floor. Trout looked around to see that everyone had fun except for him.

The doors opened, a janitor was waiting at the elevator.

"Not again… Hello, Jason." He said, walking in.

Trout jumped out and noticed something weird about the part of the ship he was on. It was an amusement park.

Rollercoasters nearly touching the ceiling, ferris wheels spinning at speeds that obeyed the law completely in some states, and completely real 'people' wanting you to spray some water at balloons.

Trout walked through the amusement park, everything here seemed to be free, except for all the balloon and fun 'throw a ball at plate' games.

Trout decided to camp out on the bench in the middle, looking around and trying to find any guards.

Goo started to talk to Trout.

"Well, I didn't see an amusement park in the blueprints to the ship."

"I don't mind, I'm just wondering if there's any guards around here." Trout asked

"Apparently there isn't any guards, this thing never closes. I guess it's a place where all the spacemen this ship holds can hang out and do whatever they want." Goo responded

"Well, this is my type of plaaaaaaaaaaaa…" Trout stopped, he saw something.

Another Fishkin passed Trout, it was a girl.

"Goo-I-gotta-go," Trout said. As he shut off his headset completely.

She was alone, and she owned probably the best fedora in the entire existence of time. Trout ran up next to her.

"H-hi." Trout said.

"Hey! Another Fishkin, I haven't seen one of our kind in a while." She said, with a smile that would aid TROUT'S SOUL.

Trout couldn't hold it in, his face was covered in sweat and was completely red.

"Haha… ha…" Trout said, holding in tears while smiling at the same time.

"Are you ok?" The Lady Trout asked.

"Yea… I'm… fin-" Trout gasped for air, and passed out.

. . .

Goo decided to look into the ship's blueprints again, apparently they were changing it up recently.

He noticed that the 17th floor apparently didn't exist, in fact, in the blueprints it was only in there to have more buttons on the elevator.

Goo noticed that there was a random pipe that wasn't connected to anything on the 17th floor, it seemed like a vent, or A/C. It was awfully huge.

Goo wondered why that would be there, and looked to what that pipe was connected to.

He found it, it was connected to something on the 3rd floor, it was connected to the…

 _Unhealthy Gas Supply._

Next to it was a timer counting down, it was set to go off every time at 12 AM UTC. It was currently 11 PM.

Goo in a frantic started to call Trout over and over again, but he wouldn't respond.

. . .

"Hu… Huh?" Trout said, waking up.

"Hi sweetie!" The lady said looking down at Trout. "You passed out after talking with me."

"Oh.. Oh I remember now." Trout said, trying not to cry again.

"It's okay, a lot of men have passed out looking at me. You're the only fishkin I've really ever seen in a long time though."

"That's… Cool I.. guess."

"Hey! Wanna come on the ferris wheel with me? I heard it obeys like, 5 laws."

"Oh… Sure."

"Come on, don't be so mopey all of the time."

She helped Trout up and brought him to the ferris wheel.

The creature running the machine didn't look to happy.

The two got on and the man started to run the ferris wheel. It went slow, and it got faster, and faster.

"Does this thing ever stop?" Trout asked, partially scared

"Nope!" The lady said.

It got faster…

"Hey… Lady, what's your name?"

"Oh! I'm glad you asked, it's Fedora." She said.

They were cut off by the guy running the wheel.

" _ALRIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU READY TO GO FASTER?!"_ The man running the machine screamed.

The 5 people on the ride faintly screamed, "yes".

" _ **ALRIGHT CARNIVAL GOERS, HERE WE GO!**_ "

The ferris wheel started to screech as it went above its capacity. The person running it didn't care.

"WOAAAAAAAA" Trout screamed

Fedora laughed at Trout. The machine's bolts started to break off, and the ferris wheel came loose.

The ferris wheel slightly slammed to the right and knocked Trout's head against the bar, turning his headset on.

He heard fun games.

"OH MAN HI TROUT! I GUESS I'M A LITTLE PANICKY AS THE ENTIRE 17TH FLOOR IS GOING TO FILL WITH UNHEALTHY GAS AND IT WILL BE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH." Goo screamed

"WAIT WHAT GOO-" The ferris wheel came completely off its base and started to roll. Trout grabbed the hand bar. Fedora was still laughing her head off.

The ferris wheel started to run down everyone in its path, saddening a few and destroying the plates that one guy had.

Suddenly, the car that Trout and Fedora was in came loose and ejected them out into the air.

Trout flung out at max speed, Fedora right behind him.

As they were flying through the air, the ship never seemed to end, they were flying for what seemed like hours.

Fedora came up right next to Trout and caught him.

They started to fall back to the ground, Fedora put her legs up and landed it, she stuck a perfect 10.

They landed in an explosion of dust, both of them survived.

"How… how.. Did you do that?" Trout asked.

"How did you not know? I have these cool pair of pants that let me land at any height." Fedora responded.

Trout's adrenaline wore off and he noticed he couldn't move his leg.

"Ow PAIN." He yelled.

"What?" She asked, his leg was backwards.

"Oh." She added.

 _Bzzz…_ "TROUT YOU GOTTA-" His headset was partially broken.

It was 11:56. Fire was breaking out all over the floor, screams and cries rang out.

"T-take.. My headset…" Trout managed to get out between breaths of joy.

She took his headset and put it on.

"TROUT YOU HAVE TO GET OUT-" _Bzz…_

"Who's this?" Fedora asked

"WHO IN THE WORLD IS THI-" _Bzz…_

"I'm Fedora! Hi," She added, seemingly not caring about the destruction around her.

"Ok, I think its smoothed out-" _Bzz…_ -"Unhealthy food is going to flood the dinnerplate if you don't get out of there no-" _Bzz…_

"How long do we have?!" She yelled...ish.

"You have 2 minutes-" _Bzz…_

"Ok… You can count on me."

Fedora looked up, destined to save her new found friend. She picked him up and ran to the elevator.

She jumped over debris and sleeping children, she was fluent with her work. Cutting through fires and dodging pits of metal and wood. She's done this before.

She slammed into the elevator at max force, pressing the button at the same time. She fell over after the impact.

Fedora slaghtly laughed, holding Trout in her arms.

"Is your name Trout? I heard that weird guy call you that." She asked

"Y..yea." He said.

They lied there, waiting for the elevator to arrive. Trout was still in alot of pain.

"Hey, I saw you on the floor below, are you a bandrit trying to steal Lub Tubs' toy chest for the bountey?"

"Y..yea."

She laughed again, looking down at him.

The elevator arrived, she got in holding Trout and closed the door behind them.


End file.
